


i have something to tell you

by byrdboiv (tunajohns)



Series: the prime of our youth [1]
Category: GOT7, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: (not much tbh), (there's only one and it's consensual), Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Underage Drinking, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, Queerplatonic Relationships, Spoilers for Yuri!!! on Ice, Underage Butt Touch/Grope, a lil bit of angst but not much
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-20
Updated: 2018-04-20
Packaged: 2018-09-14 17:37:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9196403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tunajohns/pseuds/byrdboiv
Summary: Taehyung's loved Jimin for longer than he can remember.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [taeharem](https://archiveofourown.org/users/taeharem/gifts), [daeguholic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/daeguholic/gifts), [kandicksky](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kandicksky/gifts).
  * Inspired by [all i know is how to love you](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6039208) by [jeonswonwoo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jeonswonwoo/pseuds/jeonswonwoo). 



Taehyung’s loved Jimin for longer than he can remember.

He’s never been able to pinpoint the exact moment he knew he loved him, but he knows it was before the time they went to their favourite café together, Jimin’s nose scrunched up, doubled over in laughter, almost knocking their food to the ground, and Taehyung knew he wanted the moment to last forever. He knows it was before the time Jimin stayed over at his place the weekend before their yearlies, buried in chemistry and mathematics revision, brow furrowed and glasses askew, hair messy and eyes tired as he slowly drooped over his revision, and Taehyung gently carried him off the desk he was studying at, putting him down on his bed and pulling the covers up to his chin, and Taehyung knew he wouldn’t mind looking after Jimin always. He knows it was before the time his pet goldfish had died when they were thirteen and Jimin hadn’t laughed, or told him to just get over it, or told him it was _just a damn goldfish and dude, they don’t even remember shit, why are you crying_ , but just held him, rubbing comforting circles into his back and pressing soft lips into his brow, and Taehyung had just _known_.

They’ve passed their all their birthdays together, from first to sixteenth. It’s been seventeen years together, they’re young and dumb and ridiculously immature, but they’ve been together all the way. Best friends, always an arm’s reach or a quick text away.

Taehyung is standing next to Jimin right now, the older boy hanging on to his elbow as they wait on the doorstep of a friend’s house, Seokjin’s house, for some end-of-year party. He has his head leant on Taehyung’s shoulder, soft hair tickling his neck. They’d pressed the doorbell a minute or so ago and Taehyung can hear the party thrumming through the walls. It’s loud, packed, lights are flashing out the windows.

It’s one-hundred-percent Taehyung’s thing.

He loves parties, mostly because he loves people. There’s really nothing to read into – he’s always been a social person, easy to talk and to talk to. Jimin likes to joke that he’s an incubus with the way everyone’s drawn to him. Taehyung sort of wants to contest that; for starters, he’s not really one for murder – he loves people _alive_ , thank you very much. And incubi only go after women, and Taehyung is quite sure that he enjoys male company as well, and the entire thing gets messy when he thinks about it, so in short – he likes men, he likes women, but most of all he likes having friends.

Taehyung takes in the image of Jimin leaning against him, clinging to his arm with his eyes blissfully shut, and he thinks he likes this friend the most of all.

He snaps out of his little pocket of eternity when the door opens – it’s Jeongguk, and Jimin instantly withdraws from Taehyung, arms folding and smiling out at the younger man. ‘You two are the last to arrive – took your damn time,’ Jeongguk laughs, smiling at Jimin as he pulls Taehyung in for a kiss. He plants his lips on the corner of Taehyung’s mouth, and Taehyung finds himself grinning at the action.

‘We’re fashionably late, you tease,’ Taehyung laughs, pulling him into a warm hug. ‘Give me a proper one later, yeah?’

Jeongguk blows a kiss back, grabbing Taehyung by the hand and pulling him in. ‘Anything for you, honeybun.’

Taehyung places his open palm over his brow, nose turned upwards. ‘My twinkletoes.’

‘Floofy-face.’ Jeongguk’s struggling to keep a straight face at this point.

Taehyung’s mouth twitches. ‘Humpus Rumpus.’

‘Oh baby, you know you can hump this rump any day.’

Jimin trips over the threshold, throwing himself against the nearest wall to keep his balance. ‘Jesus, guys, keep your dicks in your pants.’

It’s only Jimin tripping, but it still sends Taehyung into a panic. Taehyung whips around to check on him so fast he thinks he might’ve gotten whiplash. He’s beside Jimin before he even realises it and his hand finds itself  on Jimin’s shoulder, thumb running over the smooth fabric of his shirt. ‘Y’alright, Jiminnie?’

Jimin looks up at him. God, his eyes look extra nice today. It might be the eyeliner Jimin applied oh-so-carelessly, might be Jimin being Jimin (because everyone knows that he gets more beautiful as time goes by), but either way he’s definitely the prettiest thing for miles (however long a mile is, anyways, Taehyung never really remembered its conversion to kilometres). Taehyung is pretty sure he’s staring right now. He’s completely transfixed. It was only a trip, how did it end up like this, _it was only a trip, it was only a tr–_

‘More than alright, Taetae,’ Jimin says, and _boy_ are his lips amazing, how are they even so perfect, Taehyung’s best friend is an angel. ‘We goin’ in or what?’

Right. There’s a party. Taehyung loves parties. He has a feeling he prefers getting lost in Jimin Park’s eyes over parties, though, but despite that he tears his gaze away to train on a wall.

Now that he thinks about it, he can’t wait to get on a table and strip.

He turns to Jeongguk, extending his hand. ‘Lead the way, big guy.’

Jeongguk grabs it, bunny-tooth smile bursting across his features. ‘Anything for you, sweetheart.’

Jimin fake retches into the nearest pot plant.

 

 

&

 

 

‘Y’know, I’ve loved him for longer than I can remember.’

The party’s in full swing at this point, dance floor packed and music full blast. As much as he adores being on the dance floor, moving in sync with the bodies around him to the music, the scent of sweat and booze intoxicating as a round of shots, Taehyung does need a break sometimes.

He’s nursing a red solo cup of water, on one of Seokjin’s (where’s the guy anyways? Taehyung hasn’t seen him anywhere) sofas, a little buzzed from the beer someone’d brought crates of in, not too eager to get drunk out of his mind at the moment. He doesn’t feel like he needs to let loose, nor does he particularly want to kill his liver or black out.

Also, he wants to be coherent when he’s talking to Jeongguk.

‘This about Jimin again?’ Jeongguk’s brow is quirked, legs crossed as he sits beside him on the couch, mouth pouty and eyes dancing. ‘You know, we could just break up and you could go after him.’

Taehyung rolls his eyes. ‘Yeah, I totally could, and then you’d make a proper move on Yugyeom as well, and then we could have crazy hot makeouts with the guys we actually wanna dick ‘till the cows come home.’

‘Awh, Taehyungie, bored of me already?’

‘Always, bub.’

Jeongguk punches him in the shoulder playfully, laughing. ‘Fuck off, asshole.’ He’s a bit red in the face from dancing and drinking, eyes sparkling. His white tee is threatening to droop off his shoulder, hair messy like a hurricane just shot through it. Taehyung thinks he looks like he’s at the peak of his youth.

Jeongguk’s his partner in crime, the dumb to his dumber. The closest friend he has next to Jimin despite being in the grade below him, and he wouldn’t trade him for the world. They’ve got similar interests, the same sense of humour. They like the same music, they like each other.

Jeongguk Jeon is like half of him.

Doesn’t mean he’s his other half though.

Jeongguk’s going through the same thing as him, though. Loving his best friend. Taehyung watches Jeongguk and Yugyeom sometimes, when they’re all out in a group together, watches the way Jeongguk looks up into the older boy’s eyes, hands always reaching out as Yugyeom walks away, blissfully unaware, to wrap himself in the playful embrace of another. He watches Jeongguk’s hands tremble, drop. He watches his shoulders slump. He watches Jeongguk turn back to him, smile blinding and eyes somewhere far off, heart dead to the world. Jeongguk has watched him do the same, with Jimin.

That’s why they’re sort of together – because they can understand what the other is going through and can draw comfort from that. Because they don’t want to be with anyone who can’t understand.

That, and Jeongguk’s a pretty damn good kisser, and going under the guise of boyfriends makes everyone stop being weird about it.

People just can’t understand the term _queerplatonic_ half the time.

(Jimin can, another reason Taehyung loves him so much, but he’d rather Jimin see him and Jeongguk in a relationship than let him know how he feels at this point.)

‘Okay, but, Jimin,’ Jeongguk says after a minute of comfortable silence. ‘What about him did you wanna talk ‘bout?’

Taehyung’s not really sure. ‘Let’s just talk about _them_.’

‘Both of them?’

‘Yeah. D’you ever feel like he came from the stars?’

Jeongguk’s brows are quirked in thought, expression wistful. ‘Not quite. Yugyeom sorta reminds me of an open field, untamed. Wild. Peaceful. Comforting, though. A pretty contradiction.’ He sighs. ‘Everyone’s a contradiction, though, when you think about it. People call you weird, but you’re one of the sanest people out there. I could bench press your entire family, but I’m sorta mushy on the inside. When it comes down to it, though, he just makes me feel free, I guess.’

‘I always felt like Jiminnie was the sun. Biggest star I’ll ever know, and my world revolves around him. Just seems like I’m only one of many planets sometimes. Not even the closest one, probably Earth when I think about it. He makes me live. But I think I fucked up along the way, eroded my ozone getting ahead of myself, thinking I could handle this, and he’s burning me because I was a fool, fucked it up.’ Taehyung’s legs are swinging, head back and looking up at the roof. ‘Do you think you’ll ever have a chance?’

‘I don’t know,’ Jeongguk says. ‘I wish I could. But he’s just so… him, you get that, right?’ Jeongguk sits up straighter, looking around a boy’s waist. Taehyung can vaguely remember the guy, his name’s Bambam, some Thai kid who transferred into their school a year ago from the Inner West. Friendly, confident, prone to dabbing, from what Taehyung remembers. He can see Yugyeom’s mouth puckering into a kiss, and he knows it’s teasing, Bambam laughing loudly, batting him away with weak fists and a smile like summer – there’s whispers of Bambam mooning over that one guy who’s friends with Namjoon and who’s also apparently really good at fencing, he can’t remember the name – but even though he knows that, knows that Jeongguk knows that as well, he can’t help but wince in sympathy. Jeongguk’s competitive, possessive, a downright sentinel when he wants something. Taehyung glances beside him and sees Jeongguk clench his fists so tightly they look like they’re about to explode, like he wants to go down onto the dancefloor and completely deck Bambam (the poor guy).

But they both know this is one thing he’s not going to be able to fight for.

Not when they’re together, anyways.

‘Yeah, I get it.’ Taehyung pauses, leans against Jeongguk. ‘But you should go after him.’

‘What, and have cheating rumours circulate for the rest of my school career?’

‘Nah, I mean, we should end this so you can go after him.’

Jeongguk leans into him, sighing against his hair. ‘And you’ll go after Jimin?’

They both know they won’t do it. Not now, anyways. They’re young, dumb and ridiculously immature and they’re both too scared to go after what they want if it could mean losing what matters most to them.

Taehyung tries to imagine a world without Jimin’s smile, and he wants to throw up.

Or maybe it’s just the alcohol getting to him.

(He can hold his liquor really well, and he only had a beer, even though he’s supposed to be too young to have one at a party like this.

Oh well.)

‘What are we gonna do, Kookie?’

‘I dunno, Tae, but I hope something works out. For the both of us.’

Taehyung looks out onto the dancefloor again. He can see Jimin, platinum hair a flashing kaleidoscope in the lights. He’s dancing with Taemin, a guy in the year above, just graduated, about as great a dancer as Jimin is. He thinks he’s seen him at Jimin’s dance studio, a few times when he’s gone to pick Jimin up from after a class. Taehyung’s never really talked to Taemin before, though, he’s more familiar with his friend Minho. Taemin seems nice enough, however. Always waving and smiling every time their eyes meet. Taehyung sees Taemin’s lips move, sees him wink at Jimin. He sees Jimin laughing, and he doesn’t need to hear it to know it’s a beautiful sound.

Taehyung isn’t a jealous person. He adores it when people fawn over his best friend; he loves it when people give Jimin the attention and love he deserves. Taemin seems like a good guy. He sees Taemin grab Jimin by the waist and twirl him around. He sees Jimin’s face alight with unadultered joy, blushing and laughing, as the dancefloor clears to make room for the two of them he’s the centre of attention in the best of ways and Jimin knows it and it shows all over his face, and in this moment he really adores Taemin, for making his best friend feel so special.

He wonders if Jimin calls him Taetae as well.

Something sad and wistful bleeds through him. He’s not a jealous person, not in the slightest, but sometimes _he_ wants to be special.

Jimin’s hands (his small, cute, perfect hands) reach out to hold onto Taemin’s. Jimin twirls the both of them around, face glowing. The people on the dancefloor are clapping, laughing along with them.

He shuts his eyes, shifts so that Jeongguk’s arms are wrapped around him. He wonders when he’s ever made Jimin feel special. He’s Jimin’s best friend, he’s always there for him, to support him. But is a best friend even someone special? Or are they some kind of normality, a fact of life, a mundane, stable support?

Taehyung thinks Jimin’s special to him. Maybe that’s because he’s in love though. Maybe Jimin thinks he’s special to him too, in the best friend way.

Taehyung’s selfish, though. He wants Jimin to think he’s special in the _you are the most beautiful person in the world way_ , in the _you are my sun, the only one I know_ way, in the _I love you_ way. He wants Jimin to love him back the way he does.

Maybe in another life, maybe in his dreams.

There’s a loud cheer and Taehyung opens his eyes. The crowd is sparse in front of him and he can see Taemin and Jimin in the centre. They look magical together, Taemin dipping Jimin to the floor, the younger boy breathless and panting, hair stuck to his forehead from sweat and absolutely radiant.

Jimin’s eyes meet Taehyung’s, and he smiles.

Taehyung doesn’t know if his heart is breaking or if it’s flying.

Taemin pulls Jimin upright, hand coming up to brush at his cheek. Jimin grins up at him, smile beautiful as always, and Taehyung thinks that they look amazing together. Jimin begins to walk towards him. He looks radiant, ethereal, and Taehyung snaps out of his haze quickly enough to notice Yugyeom advancing towards them as well. He pokes a dozing Jeongguk in the ribs who jerks awake, flushing when he sees the young man advancing on their position.

‘What’s poppin’, Jimbles?’

Jimin laughs, hand flying up to cover his mouth, the movement pure and graceful, almost like he’s dancing with just a simple movement, and Taehyung wonders how Jimin doesn’t realise how Taehyung feels about him from the way he’s staring. A familiar warmth is coursing through him, running through his veins and he knows that it’s love. He wants to stand up, envelop the boy in a hug, kiss him on his pretty mouth and just be able to tell Jimin how much he really cares.

But he can’t.

He leans closer into Jeongguk, playing the part of the love-struck boyfriend.

‘Nothing much, honestly, a bit thirsty though. Dancing takes a bit out of you, but it’s worth it.’

Taehyung passes Jimin his cup of water. He takes it, throwing it back, Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallows. He’s an angel, absolutely beautiful.

Yugyeom sidles up to them, leaning over and throwing his arm around Jeongguk’s shoulders. Taehyung peels himself away from the younger boy, sitting upright and stretching out his arms. He can see Jeongguk’s blush, despite the shitty lighting, and thinks that Yugyeom has to be really dumb to not realise the extent of Jeongguk’s affections. He’s whispering into Jeongguk’s ear, and Taehyung feels like he’s witnessing Jeongguk’s slow transformation into a cherry tomato.

It takes a minute, but Yugyeom finally withdraws from a bright-red Jeongguk, smiling. ‘So,’ he says, straightening up. Taehyung realises how really fucking tall he is, like, _Jesus_. ‘Mark has an afterparty, and you three –’ He thrusts a finger in Taehyung and Jeongguk’s direction, waving it around to direct at Jimin as well, ‘– got invited just then.’

They all look around to see Mark, another recent graduate Yugyeom knows from… Taehyung can’t remember. Something music related. But he’s standing by a window, completely at ease. He sees them staring at him and waves, a serene smile crossing his face.

Taehyung likes him instantly. He _really_ likes the idea of going to an afterparty run by this guy. ‘Who’s gonna be there?’

‘Mark’s friends, like, Jackson, Jaebum, Jinyoung, Bambam and me,’ Yugyeom says, counting off his fingers. ‘There’s Taemin and Minho and the rest of their squad –’

‘Kibum and Jonghyun?’

‘Yeah, them, and then there’s Namjoon Kim and his friends, Seokjin and Hoseok and Yoongi, wait, never mind, it’s just Namjoon. Seokjin’s gonna be cleaning up the party here, Hoseok’s in Korea and Yoongi’s not even here, I think.’

‘Sounds good,’ Jeongguk chirps. He looks over at Taehyung, who nods and looks at Jimin. Jimin looks over at Mark, then at Yugyeom, then at Jeongguk. He catches Taehyung’s eyes and smiles.

‘Well, why the hell not.’ He blinks, eyes widening. ‘Wait, just let me tell my mum.’

Taehyung fumbles to find his phone, Jeongguk patting himself down for his own device. ‘Shit, same.’

 

 

&

 

 

‘You’ve loved him for longer than I can remember.’

Taehyung turns around to see Namjoon Kim, dux of the graduating year, walking noodle of chaos and old family friend leaning casually against a wall. ‘What?’ Taehyung isn’t a very eloquent person sometimes. He blinks confusedly for a few moments, then nods. ‘Ah, Jeonggukkie, you mean? Well, I started talking to him a couple of years ago –’

‘Not him. Jimin.’

Taehyung’s world slows down. ‘What?’

‘I hate that I’m regurgitating clichés, but I’ve seen the way you look at him.’ Namjoon smiles at him, a little sad. ‘You’ve always been together,  and you, you’ve always been the same.’

There’s no point in denying it; Namjoon’s always been a smart cookie, he’s got a reputation for being clumsy but he sure as hell isn’t gullible. Taehyung sighs. ‘Is that a bad thing?’

‘Not if you want it to be otherwise.’ Namjoon pushes off the wall, shaking his legs and walking towards the group huddled in front of the television. ‘Let’s just enjoy the night. We’re only this young once, Taehyung.’

Taehyung nods, mystified, following him to the group.

There’s people lounging all over the room. Mark and his closer group of friends are watching the TV, comfortably draped over each other.  Jimin, Jeongguk, Taemin, Yugyeom and Minho are all engaged in an intense game of Bullshit. Jeongguk’s left eye is practically twitching from barely restrained rage, having probably picked up the pile in the previous round (judging from the stack in his hands, which looks like half the deck). Taehyung wants to laugh – Jeongguk _hates_ not having the upper hand. And it really is showing.

‘You know,’ Jeongguk says a few minutes later, after he’s somehow turned the tables and casually decimated his opponents in violent card warfare, ‘we should play something else.’

Everyone else nods enthusiastically. Taehyung sees Mark cough into his sleeve, shaking silently from laughter as some dude named Jackson (wait, isn’t he the guy Bambam wants to get with? He’s got good taste, Jackson’s pretty cute) falls off the sofa, wheezing.

‘What should we play, then?’ Jimin asks. He sweeps his hair out of his eyes, and Taehyung can see the stairway to heaven appear before him.

‘Mafia?’ Jeongguk asks.

Yugyeom proceeds to slap him lightly on the shoulder. ‘Fuck no, you’ll get all weirdly aggressive again. Something casual.’

‘Tongues?’

Jimin’s nose crinkles in the most adorable way. ‘Still too competitive,’ he says, the very moment Taemin and Minho groan ‘ _Ugh,’_ and ‘ _Please,  no more card games_ ,’ respectively.

Taehyung tears his gaze away from Jimin and moves into the circle, nudging Jeongguk aside to sit between him and Yugyeom. Jimin’s on the other side of Jeongguk, and it takes a great feat of willpower for Taehyung not to look back at him again. He settles for leaning into Jeongguk and pecking him on the cheek, the people around them groaning at the display of affection. ‘What about Truth or Dare? Not too much competition in that.’

Minho shrugs. ‘Well, why the hell not.’ He turns around, shouting out to the rest of the guests. ‘ _Yo, fuckers, Truth or Dare up in this bitch._ ’

The rest of the attendees instantly start crowding around, everyone shuffling about to fit more people into the circle.

The moment the game starts it instantly dissolves into… something. Taehyung finds himself witness to what he can only label as _weird-ass shit_. For some reason, probably because everyone has some sort of chip on their shoulder, everyone’s choosing dares. As the empty wine bottle someone pulled out of nowhere spins around, there’s Mark doing slut drops in heels (where the fuck did the heels come from), Namjoon twerking to a mashup of the Wii theme and the _Thomas The Tank Engine_ Theme as Jackson laughs manically, Taemin and Jonghyun do some weirdly kinky shirtless forehead wrestle thingamabob to screamo music, Jaebum blushing furiously as he body rolls on the floor, Jeongguk and Jimin dancing to a variety of Korean girl group songs whilst stripping, Bambam prohibited from dabbing for the rest of the party and Kibum forced into a really ugly pair of crocs.

Taehyung’s heart goes out to all of them.

‘Whose turn is it to spin?’ Jeongguk asks as they all recover from the hysteria that is Kibum forced into crocs.

Namjoon raises a hand, reaching out to spin the bottle. Somehow, it ends up flying towards Taehyung, who ducks so he doesn’t get brained by a wine bottle projectile. The bottle lands on the carpet with a dull _thump_.

‘Shit, sorry, fuck,’ hisses Namjoon, who buries his head in his hands. ‘Fuck.’

‘S’alright, don’t do your head in over it,’ Taehyung says, straightening up again. ‘All good. What’s your dare?’

Namjoon chuckles, rubbing the back of his neck, an embarrassed blush across his face. ‘Not even going to wait for me to ask you if you wanted a truth?’

‘Nah, son, hit me up with that dare.’

Taehyung’s ready, he was _born_ to do dares, he is so ready, he is… oddly confused by the look Namjoon’s giving him. It’s not teasing, he’s not giving him one of those “haha suck my dick” smirks that most of the dare-givers get when they’re rough and ready to torment someone with a dare so diabolical their mothers would cry. It’s sort of determined, a little bit scared actually. Huh. Weird.

Namjoon inhales, exhales.

The suspense is sort of getting a bit much.

‘Kiss the person, in this room, right now, that’s the most important to you. The person you can’t live without.’ Namjoon’s smiling at him now, sadly. ‘Your other half.’

Taehyung’s terrified right now. He knows what Namjoon wants him to do, and he’s pretty sure it’s fucking suicide. ‘Uh, sure.’ He hopes no one notices how thrown off he is by this. Blinking a few times, he lets a casual smirk fall over his face. ‘Didn’t know you got off on guy-on-guy action, Joonie.’

The rest of the guys snicker, and Namjoon shakes his head, smiling a little himself. ‘Alas, all I want to see is my faith in humanity restored.’ The look he sends Taehyung is soft, pleading. ‘Sometimes, you just want to see people happy with the ones they love.’

Taehyung shuts his eyes. He’d be happy with Jimin.

He can’t have that.

Jimin doesn’t like him back. Can’t like him back. He’s just so _Jimin_ , beautiful, angelic, unobtainable. Deserves more than Taehyung can give.

His mind wanders back to Jimin and Taemin on the dancefloor, and he desperately tries to shake it out of his mind. As much as he wants to be able to give Jimin something like that, he can’t. He’s not the sort of person who can sweep Jimin off his feet, turn him breathless, hell, he can barely dance to start with. He’s the little brother type in Jimin’s eyes, someone to be coddled and cooed at, to be taken care of. Jimin deserves someone to take care of him, to praise and pamper him to his heart’s content.

He would, maybe. In a different life.

Maybe if Jimin loved him back.

He turns towards Jeongguk, leans in, but the younger boy catches his cheek with his hand, stopping him from going any further. He leans closer himself, lips centimetres away from Taehyung’s own, their mouths covered by his hand, whispering. ‘Taehyung, we can’t do this anymore.’

‘What do you mean?’ Taehyung breathes back.

Jeongguk’s eyes flutter shut. ‘Maybe Namjoon’s right.’

‘Right?’

‘We should be happy with the ones we love.’

Taehyung sighs. ‘I love you, though.’

‘But not in _that_ way.’ Jeongguk leans his forehead against Taehyung’s, smiling. ‘Maybe we should be taking chances, though. What’s a little heartbreak if it means we can be happy?’ A pause, a breath. ‘Take a chance, Taehyung. If things go wrong, I’ll always have your back. Just take a chance.’

‘ _Just kiss already!_ ’ Jackson shouts from the other side of the circle.

‘Maybe you should too,’ Taehyung whispers. ‘Take a chance. Tell Yugyeom, after this.’ He laughs, brushing his nose against Jeongguk’s. ‘If it goes badly, I’ve got you too.’

Jeongguk runs his finger over Taehyung’s cheekbone. ‘I love you, Taehyung Kim,’ he says, loud enough for everyone to hear, laughing.

Taehyung grins. ‘I love you too, Jeongguk Jeon.’

‘It was a good run, wasn’t it?’

They break apart, and Jeongguk scoots back so Taehyung can reach over to Jimin. ‘The best.’ Taehyung smiles. He places his hand on Jimin’s shoulder, shuffles forward on his knees to get a little closer. Jimin turns to him, eyes widening in shock. He lifts a hand to Jimin’s chin, tilting it up. ‘I’m sorry,’ he whispers.

And then he leans down, closes his eyes, and he kisses the love of his life.

 

 

&

 

 

The thing about kissing someone is that it isn’t like the electric currents and fireworks that they talk about in the movies, that you read about in stories. It doesn’t have to look like someone’s getting their face eaten, doesn’t even have to have tongue. Lips aren’t always soft and pliant. Hands don’t need to go everywhere, your world doesn’t necessarily instantly change.

Kissing Jimin isn’t electric, it isn’t fireworks. There’s no tongue, Taehyung is simply pressing closed lips against a pair slightly parted from shock. It’s a little bit wet, Jimin’s lower lip is a bit chapped from where he sometimes chews at it. It’s just a kiss, from a boy in love to a boy who isn’t.

It’s only a kiss.

Namjoon’s voice runs through Taehyung’s mind, _the person, in this room, right now, that’s the most important to you, the person you can’t live without, your other half._

It’s more than a kiss.

It’s a confession.

He takes his hand off of Jimin’s chin, breaks off the kiss and opens his eyes. Sees Jimin’s eyes wide, mouth parted, beautiful, so beautiful, after all these years, after all this time. Seventeen years together, seventeen beautiful years of being young and dumb and ridiculously immature, but they’ve been together all the way and it’s been a long time, it’s been so long that he doesn’t know anything else.

He’s loved Jimin for longer than he can remember.

Taehyung looks at the shock on Jimin’s face, watches Jimin raise a hand to cover his mouth. Regret comes crashing in waves, the adrenaline of the moment wearing off like a slap to the face and he realises how much he’s fucked up, he didn’t even ask for permission, Jimin doesn’t love him, they’re surrounded by people and Jimin hates it when people keep _looking_ and Taehyung can’t look anymore.

Maybe he’s loved him for too long.

Suddenly, Jeongguk’s pulling him up by the wrist, and he’s stumbling up and out of the room. The grip on his wrist is firm but gentle, and Jeongguk leads him outside, at the front of the house. Taehyung’s in a daze, all of a sudden completely drained of energy. He doesn’t know what he was expecting. He’s a fool, an idiot, a dumbass, synonyms of nouns describing someone who’s stupid.

Jeongguk wraps his arms around Taehyung, hugging him tightly. ‘It’s alright, it’ll be alright in the end, I’ve got you,’ he whispers as Taehyung feels hot, wet warmth dripping down his face. Tears. He’s crying. Shit. ‘I’ve got you, I’ve got you.’

Taehyung doesn’t want it to be alright in the end. He wants it to be alright _now_. But he’s always been dumb and selfish, and he thinks that if he gets his happy ending later, it’s better than none at all. He sobs, reaching out to hug Jeongguk back.

Namjoon bursts through the doorway, a flurry of apologies. ‘I’m sorry I made you do it, I just thought that –’

Taehyung laughs through his tears, and he thinks he sounds a bit hysterical, but that’s alright. ‘N-no, no, don’t be sorry, I wanted to.’ He laughs again, coughing as his throat clogs, turning to face Namjoon, and the older boy looks stricken. ‘I wanted to do it. I-I’ve always wanted to. It was only a matter of time, Joonie.’ He sniffs back another sob.

Namjoon slumps against the door jamb. ‘I shouldn’t have put you on the spot though. It should’ve been on your own terms.’

‘You just wanted,’ Taehyung coughs, gasps for air as Jeongguk runs fingers through his hair, rubbing circles into his back, ‘you just wanted me to be _happy_ ,’ and Taehyung’s crying even harder than before, Namjoon walking forward, enveloping him and Jeongguk in a heartfelt embrace, long limbs wrapping around them with ease.

‘At least you’re not lying to yourself anymore,’ Jeongguk whispers into Taehyung’s ear. ‘And that’s a good thing, yeah?’ He pecks the corner of Taehyung’s lip, gentle and sweet.

‘Not gonna give me a proper one?’ Taehyung sniffs, mouth wobbling into a tiny smile.

Jeongguk leans forward and pecks Taehyung gently on the lips. ‘That better, bub?’

‘The best.’

Namjoon tightens his embrace, giving them a quick, supportive squeeze before letting go of them. He stands back, hands in the pockets of his sweatpants. ‘You know, for two guys who are just friends, you’re awfully touchy with each other.’

‘Is this about the kissing?’ Jeongguk asks as Taehyung takes a few shaky breaths against his shoulder. Namjoon’s shrug and quirked smile read as _yeah, I guess._ ‘Uh, I guess it’s a bit unorthodox.’ Taehyung feels Jeongguk press a kiss into the crown of his head, warmth bleeding through him to the tips of his toes, grounding him. ‘Doesn’t mean it’s wrong, though.’

Namjoon laughs gently, a fond sound. ‘Whatever makes you two happiest is good enough.’ They’re quiet for a bit, Taehyung’s breathing slowly losing its tremor, and then Namjoon speaks again. ‘Do you guys want me to drive you home?’

Taehyung looks up, bringing a hand up to his face to rub the tears and snot away. ‘I, um, I came here with –’

Jeongguk taps the side of his face gently, sighing. ‘Jimin, yeah, but do you wanna see him right now?’

Taehyung’s first thought is _yes, always_ , but then the situation kicks in and he thinks _not like this_. ‘Not right now, I think.’

‘I’ll go back in and ask Taemin to get Jimin a lift back,’ Namjoon says, rummaging through the pockets of his pants. He pulls out a set of keys, catching Jeongguk’s eye and throwing them at the boy. Jeongguk catches them, twirling them around his fingers before pocketing them. ‘My car key’s on that. Walk left once you’re on the street and it’s the third car down, the black one with the pine tree air freshener on the rear view mirror. Let yourselves in, wait there.’ With that, he jogs back into the house, leaving Jeongguk and Taehyung alone in the front yard.

‘May as well get going, it might be warmer in the car.’ Taehyung’s voice sounds raspy, and he swallows, coughing to try and get the ugly clogged feeling out of his throat. Suddenly, he recalls something. ‘Ah, fuck, we should go back in and thank Mark before we leave, shouldn’t we?’

Jeongguk shakes his head. ‘Nah, I’ll text him a thank you message. He’ll understand. Don’t want you going back in there, not right now.’

Taehyung thinks about Jimin, eyes wide in shock, hand over his mouth. He wonders if Jimin put his hand to his mouth because he wanted to wipe Taehyung’s kiss from it. He wonders if Jimin wanted to throw up. ‘It’s sorta a dick move ditching Jimin, though.’

‘Yeah, maybe, and I’m kind of a dick for ditching ‘Gyeom, but desperate times call for desperate measures,’ Jeongguk says, releasing his arms from around Taehyung to link hands with him. ‘C’mon, let’s go, we can worry about all that a bit later,’ He leans over again to peck Taehyung on the cheek. ‘and it’s your birthday tomorrow, yeah?’

‘Tomorrow?’

‘Yeah, it’s just past midnight,’ Jeongguk says, pulling out his phone to show Taehyung the time. The light from the phone is glaring, and Taehyung squeezes his already-sore eyes shut a few times to help with the sting. ‘We gotta get you back up to speed before your birthday.’ He pokes Taehyung in the cheek, smiling fondly. ‘Can’t have the birthday boy all sad on his special day.’

‘I can’t believe I’m going to be seventeen,’ Taehyung says as they begin to walk down the road. He’s excited for his birthday, even though it’s been the same almost every year. Every year his grandma sends photos of the farm and family back in Daegu. His mum and dad always get him this really nice cake from a local bakery, strawberries and cream, and they add strawberries on top as well because they know how much he likes them. His little brother and sister will rush in with a couple of neatly wrapped presents, one from his parents and one from them, and he’ll pick his siblings up, spin them around and place them down gently, the entire family laughing. Jimin will –

He stops dead in his tracks.

There’s a burning sensation in his eyes, again, and he rubs at them, taking a deep breath.

Taehyung’s scared Jimin’s not going to be there this year.

He can’t stop thinking about the look on Jimin’s face after he kissed him.

Jeongguk squeezes his hand. ‘C’mon, car’s right over there. Let’s get in.’

They unlock the car and shuffle into the back seat, Taehyung leaning against the car door, Jeongguk in the middle. It’s quiet, but comforting, and Taehyung finds himself looking out onto the empty street, Christmas lights still adorning some front lawns.

He remembers Christmas, just a few days ago, turning up at Jimin’s place because Jimin came to his the year before, red and panting from running there as quickly as he could, Jimin opening the door with his signature smile, silvery hair soft and tousled, in a tank top because of the heat and looking like a summer dream. Pulling him through the doorway, inside, showing him his family’s Christmas tree and crinkling his nose and Taehyung pretends to critique the lopsided star on top of the tree, _you ruined Christmas, Jimothy, how could you_. He remembers Jimin laughing, throwing his arms around Taehyung’s waist and holding him tight, mumbling a _well, show me a better time next year, yeah?_

Taehyung’s scared Jimin’s not going to be there next year.

It’s only a couple of minutes after they get into the car when Namjoon returns, sliding quietly into the front seat and starting up the engine after Jeongguk passes him back the keys. ‘Ready to go, kids?’

‘More than ready.’

‘Wait, Jeongguk, where’s your place?’

Jeongguk sits up a little straighter in the dark. ‘Um, it’s in Pymble, the –’

‘Actually,’ Taehyung says, ‘can you stay over at my place tonight? My parents would be cool with it.’ _Jimin was going to stay over, but we can probably all tell that’s not going to happen, and I sort of don’t want to be by myself tonight_ is left unsaid.

Jeongguk puts a finger on his chin, thinking. ‘It’s a bit late notice.’

‘Ah, was probably a bit too much to ask.’

‘I’m gonna do it.’ He smiles, shoving Taehyung lightly on the shoulder as he takes out his phone, most likely texting his mother. ‘Like hell I’m gonna leave you alone.’

Namjoon turns out of his parking spot, almost instantly speeding off in the wrong direction. He’s a terrible driver, almost gets them all killed on the way back to Taehyung’s house and Taehyung’s near convinced that he’s not going to make it to seventeen. He barely misses a truck, hits the curb at least three times every ten minutes and almost crashes the car trying to parallel park.

But he gets them back to Taehyung’s house in one piece.

Praise be small miracles.

 

 

&

 

 

Taehyung wakes up with Jeongguk plastered to his side, the younger boy drooling into a pillow. ‘Oh god,’ he croaks, wiping the gunk out of his eyes, ‘what year is it?’ The light from the window nearby is blinding. He shoves Jeongguk, who rolls off the bed with a groan of pain.

‘Uunghhh,’ Jeongguk replies, reaching upwards to pull the sheets down over him.

Taehyung reaches out to his bedside table, patting down the surface in search of his phone. He finds it, picking it up and checking the time. ‘Holy shit, it’s still the twenty-ninth.’

‘Hnng?’

‘Three-forty in the afternoon.’

‘Nng.’

Taehyung leans off the bed, poking Jeongguk with a finger. ‘Wanna go down and get snacks?’

Jeongguk shoots up with the sort of speed only a hungry teenage boy can manage. ‘Yes.’

It’s over a bowl of Lay’s on Taehyung’s couch when Jeongguk grabs Taehyung’s hand, cheeks bulging from the chips. ‘Y’know,’ Jeongguk says after he swallows his mouthful of chips, ‘I’m glad you’re my friend.’

Taehyung smiles. ‘Yeah, me too.’

Jeongguk brings Taehyung’s knuckles to his lips, making to kiss them and swiping his tongue across Taehyung’s hand instead. ‘Wouldn’t really have it any other way.’

‘Fuckin’ gross, dude,’ Taehyung laughs, wiping his hand on Jeongguk’s shirt. ‘Love you though.’

‘Talking about love,’ Jeongguk says, pulling out his phone, ‘Do you wanna see the stuff Yugyeom sent me last night?’

Taehyung grabs Jeongguk’s phone, scrolling through Yugyeom’s texts. ‘Holy shit.’

‘I know right.’

The entire text thread from about twelve in the morning consists of Yugyeom keyboard smashing, asking where Jeongguk is, calling Taehyung a cheating bastard, asking if Jeongguk’s alright, more angry keyboard smashing (probably around the time Namjoon went back inside the house to announce he’d be taking Jeongguk and Taehyung home), asking if Jeongguk had a death wish (probably in reference to the fact Jeongguk was getting into a metal deathtrap with the world’s worst driver) and lot of creative derogatory nicknames for Taehyung, most of them involving the word “ass”. There’s a time gap from about 1am to 8am, and then the texts pick up again, still just Yugyeom texting Jeongguk, a flurry of _REPLY YOU NOODLE_ and _DONT ASK ME TO GO BOWLING WITH YOU EVER AGAIN YOU DONGLE DICK_.

Taehyung notices that Yugyeom’s still sending texts. ‘Are you gonna reply to him?’

‘Nah,’ Jeongguk says. ‘Well, not yet.’

‘Well why the fuck not?’

Jeongguk sighs. ‘Well it’s sorta petty.’

‘What is?’

‘He just,’ Jeongguk’s voice is a little on the petulant side as he crosses his arms and buries his head in them. ‘hasn’t said he loves me?’

Taehyung takes the opportunity to smack Jeongguk over the head. ‘What the _fuck_ , Jeongguk? He doesn’t even know you like him back and you’re expecting him to throw that at you?’

‘Yeah, I mean, but, you and Jimin say it to each other all the time.’ Jeongguk buries his head further into his arms. ‘ _We_ say it all the time. Friends say that sorta’ stuff too. ‘Specially when they’re worried about their friend.’

Taehyung shuffles over to sit closer to Jeongguk. ‘Well, have you ever said it to him?’

‘I…’ Jeongguk leans his head onto Taehyung’s shoulder. ‘Haven’t. By the time we’d have been close enough to say it, I’d already fallen for him, I guess. Just feel like I’m giving too much of myself away right now.’

‘Mmm?’

‘Like, I’m almost always the one who’s asking him to go out, or to come over, and he’s just so _him_ and I feel like I just, I dunno, drag him all over the place. Like, he’s only humouring me.’

Taehyung kisses Jeongguk gently on the top of his head. ‘You know, maybe he’s just reserved. Or he’s not used to making plans and just wants to follow along with whatever you want. Wants to make you happy. I mean, he’s certainly being a bit proactive with you right now. Maybe it’s his way of saying he loves you. Doesn’t always have to be those three words.’

‘I guess.’ Jeongguk sighs, taking the bowl of chips on the sofa and placing it gently on the floor. He flops over, resting his head in Taehyung’s lap. ‘I told you it was petty.’

‘Maybe you should tell him we’re only sort of a thing because you two aren’t a thing,’ Taehyung says, ruffling Jeongguk’s hair. ‘Put an end to those cheating rumours. Get yo’ man.’

Jeongguk groans. ‘Ugh, can I do it later?’

‘Just do it already, Googie.’

‘Alright, alright.’ Jeongguk taps out a text reply, showing Taehyung what he’s written. ‘Happy?’ _I AM REALLY GAY FOR YOU AND LIKE YOU IN THE ROMANTIC SENSE_ glares back at Taehyung, the message not yet sent.

Taehyung taps the send button. ‘Now I am.’

‘ _Fuck_ ,’ Jeongguk hisses, accidentally dropping his phone. ‘No, nonononononono, Jesus Christ _I need to turn on Aeroplane Mode_ _FUCK_.’

The message sends. Jeongguk screams, Taehyung patting himself on the back.

Yugyeom’s reply comes in seconds, the text tone pinging like a tiny demon getting stepped on.

‘What’d he say?’ Taehyung asks excitedly, reaching for the phone. Jeongguk bats his hand away, wriggling up until his ass is in Taehyung’s lap and kicking at him with a sock-covered foot. ‘Jesus, Jeongguk, your feet smell rank.’

‘Fuck off, Tae,’ Jeongguk whines as he picks up his phone. ‘He…’ An unimpressed look washes over Jeongguk’s face. He dangles the phone in front of Taehyung’s face, the text notification only reading _wat._

‘Your bee-eff-effsies loverboy is disappointing,’ Taehyung says as he watches Jeongguk text back a reply over his shoulder. ‘Wait, no, don’t tell him I sent that, I went _down_ last night and you’re goin’ down with me, _c’mon,_ man.’ He headbutts the back of Jeongguk’s neck, the younger boy swatting at his head.

‘Fuck no.’

Taehyung leans back into the couch. ‘Fine, tell him at the New Year’s party properly, then.’

‘Maybe.’ Jeongguk pockets his phone. ‘He’s still going on about you cheating on me, though.’

‘So just tell him otherwise!’

‘Doesn’t believe me. We’ll have to tell him in person.’

‘Wait, whaddya even say?’ Taehyung leans back over the side of the couch to retrieve the bowl of chips, placing it next to him on the couch as Jeongguk pushes his thighs apart to sit between them easier.

‘That I actually was sorta not ever dating you ever, and we only called it boyfriends because everyone else did and it was a good cover for any potentially unrequited romantic feelings either of us had towards other people?’

‘Yeah, sounds a bit out there.’

‘Mmm, he might get it if we talk to him at his New Year’s party.’

Taehyung rolls his eyes. ‘You mean it’ll go down better with me there, when he tries to punch me in the face?’

‘Exactly.’ Jeongguk checks his phone, looking at the time. ‘Do you think our parents would get pissed if I stayed over again tonight?’

‘Eh, _Eomma_ and _Appa_ are used to you crashing as much as Jimin does –’ He pauses, and Jeongguk’s eyes soften. ‘Did?’

‘You haven’t even talked to him yet, Tae, don’t go assuming.’

‘Well,’ Taehyung laughs shakily, ‘Either way they’re cool, but you better promise _Eomma_ Jeon to do your chores and get good grades this upcoming year.’

‘Will do,’ Jeongguk laughs. ‘Lemme just call my mum and pander to her with my baby-of-the-family-is-growing-up argument, and then we can watch some _Haikyuu!!_ or something.’

Taehyung slips his arms around Jeongguk’s waist. ‘Was thinking about _Yuri!!! on Ice_ , but alright then.’

‘Sounds good.’

They end up dicking around a bit on Club Penguin, Taehyung’s parents and siblings coming home around the four-o’clock mark, his siblings rushing into their room with comically obvious shopping bags from a couple of Taehyung’s favourite stores as his parents unsubtly try to distract Taehyung from the hilarity which is his younger sister wailing at his younger brother _but I wanted to wrap Tae-oppa’s CD, meanie!_

Dinner is a spectacle, Taehyung discreetly posting Snapchats of Jeongguk on his best behaviour to his story, sweating nervously as he tries not to draw the disapproval of Taehyung’s parents. Taehyung has no idea why he’s trying to be a kiss-ass, bowing the full ninety-degrees after the meal and offering to help wash the dishes.

Taehyung swears to every deity he can think of that Jeongguk just wants to one-up every friend that’s ever been to Taehyung’s house.

(He Snapchats the entire thing, praying Yugyeom sees it. _Come collect your man, buddy_.

From the pinging of Jeongguk’s phone by the couch, Taehyung decides his work is finished for the day.)

It’s at about three in the morning when Taehyung and Jeongguk finally get around to falling asleep, having cried profusely upon marathoning the entirety of _Yuri!!! on Ice_ ’s first season. Taehyung isn’t going to lie, he wishes Jimin was with him, with the both of them, watching sports anime and sobbing profusely because it’s _gay, so gay, Taehyung, they kissed, love is real, I can’t believe this, holy shit, they really were born to make history, I’m so gay, holy shit hold me you fucknoodle just hold me and never let me go Jesus Christ on a bicycle_ , _wait, happy birthday, man_. Jeongguk is a wonderful friend, the best of company, but he can never replace Jimin.

God, it’s been a day, but Taehyung misses him so much, misses that laugh of his when he flops over and bends himself in half when he finds something especially funny, misses the curves of his eyes, the hugs he gives, the hands that link so well with his, his slightly crooked front tooth that makes his smile extra cute.

He hopes they’ll still be friends after the stunt he pulled.

Yes, Jeongguk can’t replace Jimin. Never can, never will. They’re completely different people, after all, Taehyung knows that you can’t ever replace a person, people are too varied, unique, always different, always special. Jeongguk can never, ever replace Jimin.

No one, could, really. No one could replace the sun.

And as he looks down at Jeongguk’s face in the moonlight, soft from sleep, he knows that Jimin could never replace Jeongguk either.

No one could replace his partner in crime.

He presses a kiss to Jeongguk’s forehead, and a few minutes later, falls asleep himself.

 

 

&

 

 

‘ _Happy Birthday!_ ’

It’s a bit past nine in the morning and Taehyung’s just entered the kitchen, Jeongguk right behind him when the room bursts into noise. His mother and father are holding the prettiest strawberry cake he’s seen, there’s a fat envelope with stamps on the front on the kitchen counter. His little brother and sister are each holding wrapped presents, bouncing off the walls in their excitement and he runs up to them, picking them up, one in each arm, spinning around the kitchen. He puts them down, kisses them each on the forehead, hugs his father and kisses his mother on the cheek.

He’s just about to open his presents when the doorbell rings, his heart jolting at the sound. His mother goes to open the door, and Taehyung can’t help but stare down the corridor, anxious in his anticipation. _It can’t be, he wouldn’t, why would he –_

And there he is, Jimin Park, a small box cupped in his hands.

Taehyung feels the shattered pieces of his heart splinter.

Jimin toes off his shoes, placing them neatly outside the door and bowing to Taehyung’s mother. Taehyung doesn’t have to see her face to know she’s smiling, she’s always loved Jimin. It’s impossible not to.

The way Jimin walks down the hallway, you’d think he was going down a runway instead. But there’s a blush on his face, he’s ducking his head like he usually does when he feels shy and Taehyung wants to cry because he’s scared Jimin’s shy because he’s not comfortable with him anymore, he’s worried that Jimin’s only here out of obligation, he’s more than worried, he’s _scared_ –

And then Jimin is right in front of him, eyes looking up, mouth turned upwards in a smile, and he thinks it’s okay.

‘Hey, Taetae,’ Jimin whispers, and did his eyes always look like Taehyung’s entire world?

‘Hey, Jiminnie.’

Jimin looks down at his hands, extending his gift. ‘I got you something.’

Taehyung can’t help but smile. ‘Don’t you always.’

‘Only every year.’

Jimin goes to place his small present on top of the presents from his family and returns, smiling up at Taehyung, looking unsure but still happy but Taehyung can’t get the image of Jimin’s face, shocked from the kiss, out of his head. ‘Jimin,’ he starts, running a hand through his hair. ‘I’m sorry about what happened at the afterparty.’

Jimin blinks, brow furrowing, head tilting to the side. ‘You’re sor–’

Taehyung feels a squeeze around his waist, feels a head rest on his shoulder. ‘Forgetting about me already?’ Jeongguk croons, pressing a kiss to his ear, voice dropping to a whisper. ‘ _Don’t fucking talk about the afterparty unless he brings it up, dumbass, just enjoy your fucking day._ ’ Jeongguk clears his throat, turning his attention to Jimin and sending him a blinding smile. ‘Hey there, Jimin.’

‘Hey,’ Jimin says. There’s a sweet but somehow strained smile on his face.

‘Fuck off,’ Taehyung sighs as he shoves at the younger boy. He’s got a point though. What happened at the afterparty’s a discussion he can have later.

Jeongguk nuzzles his head into Taehyung’s neck.

 ‘You know you love me,’

He does, Taehyung really does.

Turning his gaze back towards Jimin, he’s sort of shocked at the almost stricken look on Jimin’s face. ‘Jimothy, you alright?’

Jimin shakes his head, blinking a few times before plastering a smile back on his face. ‘Yeah, I’m good, was just thinking.’

Taehyung swallows. ‘Are _we_ alright?’

‘Taehyung Kim,’ Jimin says, eyes steel as he looks straight at Taehyung, ‘You are my best friend.’ He doesn’t say anything else, mouth shutting tight, biting his bottom lip like he wants to say more but won’t let himself.

It’s a good enough answer for Taehyung.

Jeongguk releases his grip around Taehyung’s waist, the older boy stepping forward to wrap Jimin in an embrace. It’s warm, soft, Jimin smells like something sweet and citrusy, Taehyung vaguely recognising it as the cologne he bought Jimin on impulse and it breaks him a little more. He’s in love with Jimin, so very in love, so in love he doesn’t know anything else like it, and the selfish part of him wants Jimin to stop teasing him in such an innocent manner, to love him back the way he does. But this is enough, holding Jimin in his arms like there’s nothing else in the world.

Jimin _is_ his world.

He kisses Jimin on the cheek, gently. ‘You’re mine too, ‘till the end.’

And maybe Taehyung’s dreaming, but he swears he hears Jimin whisper, a few moments later when he’s let go of him, about to go back to his room to prepare for the birthday lunch outing he’s always gone to with Jimin and a few other close friends, _maybe I’m also_ yours.

Wishful thinking. Taehyung dismisses the thought.

It’s in the evening when Taehyung returns home, a small haul of gifts in tow from his Jeongguk (who sprinted all the way to his house to retrieve the present he’d gotten for Taehyung, to much hilarity) and other friends he’d seen that day. He’s set on opening them after dinner, in the confines of is bedroom like he always does every year.

And after dinner, Taehyung rushes to his room, eagerly opening his gifts one-by-one. He opens the presents from his family first, smiling at the indie CD his siblings picked out and the soft sweater his parents got for him. He leaves his room for a little bit to thank them all again, hugging his parents as they sit in their room watching K-Drama on the TV and playing with his siblings and their toys when he enters their room, reminding them to not stay up so late before he goes back to his own room.

Once he’s back, he flicks through the photographs his grandmother sent. There’s photos of her farm, of her house, tastes of home. There’s photos of his dog Soonshim, who’s huge compared to the last time he was able to go back to Korea. There’s a photo of his grandmother herself, smile wide as she’s captured in the middle of strawberry-picking, and Taehyung instantly goes to his drawer to retrieve his stick of Blu-Tack, sticking the photo to the wall next to his bed, right where he can touch it before he goes to sleep.

He goes through each of the other presents he’d been given, the gifts ranging from food to clothes, from books to meme birthday cards, and he loves each and every one of them. He laughs out loud when he sees Jeongguk’s present, an Iron Man USB with hilariously edited videos of Taehyung and his shenanigans over the past year on it, as well a few audio files with titles he recognises as some of his favourite songs. Taehyung listens to a couple of them on his laptop as he replies to the copious _happy-birthdays_ on his Facebook timeline, recognising the singing as Jeongguk’s voice.

Damn, the boy has _pipes_.

And maybe he’s been putting it off, maybe he’s a little bit scared of what it is, but he opens Jimin’s present last. He peels of the wrapping, gently, and Jimin’s not there to criticise the way he opens parcels but with this one he feels oddly reverent. It’s a simple box, about the size of both his fists together, and he opens the lid gently.

At the very top is a slip of paper, folded into quarters. Taehyung opens it, scanning the contents.

 

 

_happy birthday, taetae, my little star!_

_it’s been a great seventeen years, and i really, truly love you beyond words_

_the new year is coming soon, and i know you’ll own it,_

_because you always do <3_

_thank you for being by my side, always,_

_and i hope it’ll stay that way for the years to come!!_

_lots of love,_

_jiminnie_

_p.s. open the jar last!!_

 

Taehyung turns his gaze back to the box. It’s filled with small paper scrolls, a small glass jar with another folded slip of paper and a tiny drawstring bag on the inside. He picks up a scroll, unrolling it and almost dropping the strip of paper in surprise.

It reads thus: _your smile is box shaped and dumb but it’s cute, i guess_

He rolls it back up, putting it off to the side and picking up another scroll. This one reads _your dog is great but so are you! (just by a little bit.)_

Shit. He’s gonna cry.

 _your hair looked pretty nice when you had that green fringe_ , says the next one. _thank you for being there for me_ , says the one after that. There’s more, falling through the gaps between Taehyung’s fingers when he tries to pick them up, ones that say _i saw you copy Johnny’s geography questions last term;_ _Seokjin wants to whoop your ass because you stole the cookies, and yeah, he knows; your hands are pretty even though they keep making mine look tiny in comparison_.

There’s more, compliments and call-outs, Taehyung torn between finding Jimin and hugging him until the end of the world and whacking him with a baseball bat, throwing his body into a bathtub fully clothed and dumping Pepsi on him.

He’s tearing up, sniffling in an undignified manner as he reads them all.

There’s one scroll, jammed between the jar and the edge of the box, that Taehyung reads after he’s gone through the rest. The words on it make him catch his breath, confused and hopeful.

_it’s always been you._

He rolls up the slip of paper, reverently, placing it back in the box. Taehyung takes out the clear glass jar, twisting the cork out of the opening and plucking the folded sheet of paper from inside it. He tips the jar upside down, the drawstring bag within it falling out into his palm.

Inside the bag is a ring.

He remembers it, from a little less than a year ago. Jimin had just gotten his first job, had been paid a decent amount after his first shift and they were wandering around the City together, looking for somewhere to eat. They’d put off lunch for an hour in favour of wandering around the Haymarket, looking at each and every one of the stalls. Taehyung had found himself looking at a display of rings at one particular moment, eyes drawn towards a simple pair of bands, each silver with a black inlaid enamel circle. He remembers trying the larger one on, Jimin slotting the smaller ring onto his own finger, the two of them finding the bands a perfect fit.

He remembers asking Jimin if he wanted to get the rings, joking (sort of) about having couple rings with each other. He remembers a short conversation about the possibility of a forever with Jimin, the older boy laughing, but also almost instantly becoming distracted by a stall full of anime merch.

 _‘Hey, Tae,’_ Jimin had said. _‘is that Kageyama?’_

 _‘Holy shit,’_ Taehyung had replied, speeding off in the direction of the stall.

Jimin had caught up with him after five minutes, something he didn’t think much of at the time. They’d gone back to the ring stall when Taehyung recalled them again, but to his dismay the rings were gone.

But one of them was with him, right in his hand.

He wonders if Jimin has the other half of the pair, and his heart flutters. He wonders what it means.

Taehyung’s scared that he’s hoping for too much.

He opens up the second slip of paper with shaky hands, reading it.

 

 

_this is a bit last minute, i think._

_i was planning on putting a cinema gift card in here instead,_

_but after what happened at the afterparty_

Taehyung swallows.

 

 

_i don’t think i could keep quiet anymore._

_i’ll just take you out on a lot of movie dates,_

_so it’ll basically be the same as a cinema gift card! :D_

The word _dates_ stands out to him like 20px magenta Comic Sans.

_taehyung kim, my best friend_

_you’re kind and funny,_

_you’re loyal and reliable,_

_you’re a star that shines in the dark against all odds,_

_watching over me, even when i’m trying to be the one looking out for you and,_

_i just need you to know one last thing._

 

_i’ve loved you for longer than i can remember_

&

Taehyung loves parties, mostly because he loves people. There’s really nothing to read into – he’s always been a social person, easy to talk and to talk to. Jimin likes to joke that he’s an incubus with the way everyone’s drawn to him.

He just wants one person drawn to him tonight.

Taehyung’s late to Yugyeom’s New Year’s party by a couple of hours, having lost track of time playing _Overwatch_ , much to the distress of Jeongguk, who had practically blown up his phone calling and texting him to _get the fuck down here, I need you, damn it_.

So now he’s on the doorstep of Yugyeom’s house, twisting at the silver ring sitting on his finger. He’s pressed the button a few times but no one’s answered. Taehyung’s about to enter through a window when the door suddenly bursts open, music and chatter and Jeongguk on the other side, reaching out to drag him through the house.

‘Situation’s that bad?’ Taehyung gasps, stumbling along as Jeongguk leads him towards Yugyeom’s room.

‘He won’t stop going on about wanting to beat you up for my honour,’ Jeongguk groans, weaving through the crowd of people on their way upstairs. ‘I told him that the only reason we were dating was because everyone said we were and it was just an easy way to kiss and shit and get away with it.’

‘Do you mean you _still_ haven’t told him about your goddamn feelings?’

‘Maybe?’

'At least tell me he's cool and understanding with our PDA, man.'

'Definitely. We can pash away after all this is over.'

They’re at the doorway of Yugyeom’s room, and Taehyung can see a mildly livid young man inside. He pushes Jeongguk in. ‘Well, fucking tell him.’

Upon seeing Taehyung, Yugyeom instantly tries to throw a dictionary at him. ‘ _BITCH_ ,’ he hisses, reaching for his sock drawer.

‘Yugyeom, what the _fuck_ ,’ Jeongguk shrieks, running over to the other boy and rugby-tackling him to the ground. ‘You said you wouldn’t hit him you _asswipe_.’

‘I didn’t hit him!’

‘You threw a fucking dictionary at him, it’s the _same damn thing_!’

‘ _JUST KISS ALREADY_ ,’ Taehyung screeches, about to tear out his hair as he observes the scene; Jeongguk’s straddling Yugyeom, hands on either side of Yugyeom’s head. He can see the breathless, wide-eyed expression on Yugyeom’s face, like the boy’s star struck.

God, the  _tension_.

Taehyung does an internal victory shimmy as Jeongguk grabs Yugyeom’s shirt collar, pulling him up into a sitting position. Without much glamour or warning, Jeongguk grips Yugyeom’s face and jams his lips against the other boy’s ones, hands sliding down Yugyeom’s body to rest at his waist. Holy shit, that is one intense kiss, Jesus Christ there is tongue,Yugyeom’s hands are on Jeongguk’s ass, _groping_ ,  _holy shit_.

Taehyung is reminded of the fact that the two boys are younger than him by two years.

Jesus Christ, kids these days.

‘Congratulations, please stay legal,’ Taehyung begs, hands clasped in prayer as the two boys separate, dazed and starry-eyed. They seem lost in their own world.

‘I like your face,’ Jeongguk says to Yugyeom, blushing as red as a stop sign. ‘In the romantic sense.’

Yugyeom swallows as he wipes the saliva off his lips. ‘Um. Yeah. Me too.’

‘Yeah.’ Jeongguk says, leaning his forehead against Yugyeom’s shoulder.

‘Uh.’

‘Mhm?’

‘We uh, did the thing.’

Taehyung checks his watch, and Jeongguk sighs. ‘We did.’

‘Um, since when did you…’

‘Beginning of Year Eight,’ Jeongguk says.

Yugyeom coughs. ‘You dated Taehyung because you liked – like – kissing people and stuff?’

‘Uh, yeah.’

‘And because you, like, like-liked me? Like, still like-like me’

Taehyung tries not to choke when he hears Yugyeom say “like-like”. Adorable. Jeongguk’s in great hands. Jeongguk mumbles in confirmation, pushing his face further into Yugyeom’s shoulder. 'Bit more complicated than that, but sure.'

The room’s quiet for a bit, Taehyung fidgeting in the doorway when Yugyeom opens his mouth. ‘Let’s, um, go out tomorrow,’ Yugyeom blurts out, as red in the face as Jeongguk is. ‘Like, in the romantic way. Just us. I guess. If you want to. I do. Have wanted to since, like, Year Seven, I mean what, fuck, just ignore me.’ Yugyeom inhales deeply. ‘Fuck’

It’s kind of funny seeing the sensitive, charismatic Yugyeom Kim all blushy over the prospect of going on a date with his best friend of three years, but all Taehyung really wants to do is get them to move in with each other. Raise a puppy together.

‘And, um, I guess you can keep, like, kissing other people if you really want to?’ Yugyeom says, palms looking oddly sweaty as Jeongguk’s arms wrap tighter around him. ‘Because it’s friendly for you, and stuff.’

‘But _you_ don’t do that with friends,’ Jeongguk replies, voice soft and quiet.

‘But you do, and, uh, let’s talk boundaries a bit later, I guess. Compromise and shit. Nonexclusive to romantic relationships, though. Uh, you’re my best friend as well, don’t forget that. Yeah.’

Holy shit, Taehyung wants to arrange a goddamn wedding right this instant.

‘So, are you, um, also my, uh, b-boyfriend?’ Jeongguk asks, stuttering, burying his face in his hands.

Yugyeom moves his head forward, probably wanting to kiss Jeongguk or something and accidentally headbutting him in the nose instead, just as Jeongguk moves his hands down. ‘Fuck, shit, god no, I mean, yes, I’m so sorry,’ he wails as Jeongguk clutches at his nose.

‘Jesus,’ Jeongguk chokes out, tears forming in his eyes. ‘Fuck you.’

Taehyung doesn’t think that they notice him at this point, too lost in each other to think of anything else at that point. He’s got a feeling he might’ve  overstayed his welcome a bit too, slipping out of the room, wholeheartedly believing in love again. Just as he’s about to go downstairs, some weird _Titanic_ shit happens.

At least he _thinks_ it’s from _Titanic_. Like, he’s at the top of a staircase, and the love of his life is right at the bottom.

Or maybe it was from _Beauty and the Beast_. He can’t remember.

Either way, Jimin’s right there.

He’s nursing a cup of drink with both hands and Taehyung’s heart leaps when he sees a glint of silver on his right ring finger. The sight of the band is enough for Taehyung to bound down the stairs, three steps at a time, coming to a halt right in front of Jimin. He's off-centre, heady from the knowledge that Jimin feels the same way about him, down to the same words and -

Jimin looks up, and the music of the party fades to a dull throb.

‘Hey,’ Taehyung whispers.

Jimin places his cup of drink on the flat baluster of the staircase. ‘Hey.’

Taehyung coughs into his sleeve. ‘Hey.’ 

‘Hey.’

‘Hey.’

‘Hey,’ Jimin’s brow is quirked. ‘Are we going to talk?’

‘Um, yeah.’ Taehyung’s eloquent like that.

Jimin’s… Jimin. He’s got chubby cheeks and thighs wrought from steel. He’s got fluffy hair, small hands. He’s got the prettiest grin on his face, stretching even wider when he looks down at Taehyung’s left hand, Taehyung following his gaze to see he’s looking straight at the ring. He’s looking back at Taehyung now, he’s stepping forward, he’s asking Taehyung something –

‘Can I kiss you now?’

Around them, people begin to count down to the New Year.

_Ten!_

 ‘Wait, what?’

_Nine! Eight! Seven!_

Jimin rolls his eyes. ‘Jesus Christ, you read my damn letter, right, are you kidding?’

_Six! Five!_

‘Yeah, I mean, no,’ Taehyung splutters, ‘I mean, it’s just a bit sudden, that’s all.’

_Four!_

Jimin grabs him by the collar, eyes blazing in fury.

_Three! Two!_

‘This is _years overdue,_ so just fucking _kiss_ me, you fool.’

_One!_

Jimin’s pulls him down, lips crashing together, and the love of his life is kissing him.

It might just be the actual fireworks going off in the background, but Taehyung thinks he might have to correct his prior statements on kissing not being like the fireworks they describe in stories. There’s cheering in the background, people shrieking _Happy New Year!_ but Taehyung could probably give at least eighty more shits, tilting his head for a better angle, hands coming up to cup Jimin’s face. It’s nothing like the kiss from the afterparty, it’s more intense, Jimin’s more _responsive_ , hands running down Taehyung’s sides to skim his waistline, sweet and teasing. His tongue is skimming Taehyung’s bottom lip and it’s a heady feeling, Taehyung opening his mouth to let Jimin slip his tongue between his lips and _god_.

Jimin’s tongue is moving against his own, and somehow it’s sexy as fuck. He tastes like lemonade and chips, not really a very sensual combination in the slightest, but Taehyung feels like an animal, the way he’s practically devouring Jimin’s mouth like he’s starving.

Jesus Christ, he never wants to let go. He’s lain awake every night aching for this ever since he knew what the hell a damn kiss was.

It feels like it’s been the best kind of eternity when Jimin’s lips leaves his, eyes glossy and breath uneven. Taehyung can’t stop himself from leaning down to deliver a last, sweet peck on Jimin’s lips, the older boy’s eyes closing as he accepts the gesture.

‘So,’ Jimin breathes, arms linking around Taehyung’s waist. ‘This is a thing we’re doing?’

Taehyung pulls him as close as he can. ‘ _Please_.’

They’ve loved each other for too long now to love alone.

 

 

&

 

 

Taehyung’s loved Jimin for longer than he can remember.

He’s never been able to pinpoint the exact moment he knew he loved him, but he knows it was before the time they visited their local park at midnight together, Jimin’s face illuminated in the moonlight as he kicked off on the swing, legs dragging along the ground amidst laughter, and Taehyung knew he’d do this every night to see Jimin laugh like that, if he could. He knows it was before the time Jimin was at his place during the holidays, fretting over an upcoming dance competition, entire body jittery and on edge, asking him _what if I fall over, god, they’re making me take off my shirt during the performance and I don’t_ want _to, I can’t even dance, I don’t want to do this anymore_ , and Taehyung had pulled him down onto the sofa, holding him tight and letting him cry his heart out, whispering to him _I’m sorry you have to do that, you won’t fall over, you’re the best dancer I know_ , Jimin sniffling back a _the only dancer you really know is me_ , and Taehyung knew he wanted to be there for Jimin forever. He knows it was before the time his mother and younger brother had gotten into a car crash on their way to his younger brother’s piano exam after a reckless driver had clipped the rear, when he’d rushed to the hospital in the middle of school and Jimin had taken and collected notes for every class Taehyung had missed for that day and the next, even though he wasn’t in half of them, delivering them to his house with a small hamper of snacks for his little brother and flowers to give to his mother, and Taehyung could feel something warm and familiar bubble up inside him, didn’t even have to think to know the sensation was called love.

They’ve passed their all their birthdays together, from first to seventeenth. It’s been seventeen years together, they’re young and dumb and ridiculously immature, but they’ve been together all the way.

And as Taehyung slips his arm around Jimin’s waist, leaning into him as they watch sappy romantic comedies into the early hours of the morning, he hopes they’ll be together until the very end.

**Author's Note:**

> gosh diddly darn dang this murdered me  
> vmin is my guilty pleasure  
> queerplatonicism is my secret kink  
> (there will be more queerplatonic taekook at a later date mark my words)  
> i can't english i am completely frazzled  
> i hope someone catches the dragon age 2 reference
> 
> creds to lu for sparking the idea and compelling both vmin and taekook, meah for yugkook influence and ash for sending me lu's tweet at ass o'clock
> 
> creds to seventeen's boom boom for inspiring the title, it's a bop i love it
> 
> hmu @tunajohns on twitter


End file.
